Ugly Gardens#2This is part of The Ugly Gardens Project. Go there for an explanation of why this page is here!
Warning: large page with lots of large(ish) images!
To begin where we left off, we present you with a very, very boring garden. Note the distinct lack of plant life, the strange bobbled wall, and the prominent red door. The only explanation we can fathom is that the red door killed off the plants, killed off the house's inhabitants, and now owns the whole house. That or the red door is the only excitement its inhabitants can handle.
The occupants of this house obviously like their paths. Not content with one big patio, they used a thin strip of gravel to provide a seperate the path from the door to the street and the path from the garage to the street. But note that there aren't any paths from the door to the car, and the bin hasn't got any paths at all! How do they move the bin?
This garden, strictly speaking, isn't ugly, but it is very funny. They obviously own that little patch of grass which, ordinarily, might just look like public grass. But not with these occupants about - oh no! - this patch of grass definitely isn't for public use! You have to wonder why they care about so small a patch of plain grass, unless they love exhibiting those flowers so much.
This garden looks like it had a rather lovely, complex system of paths and plant beds in its heyday, but has since been hit by heavy tectonic activity. We're not too sure why it only hit this house, and not others in the street. The planks are obviously there so the occupants can employ the "building site" excuse we uncovered in the last series of pictures.
The occupants of this house obviously couldn't decide what age, or planet, their house came from. They've got a red brick house, with a traditional beige-ish stone wall, moon-rock gravel, and a collosal upside-down bush. Is that gravel really "of this world"? Did they wake up one morning and just find it there? We weren't sure, so we stood well back when taking the picture.
These two houses, aside from being eery mirror images of each other, both sport a bizarre MiniPicketFence(tm). We can only speculate that the number of pickets your fence has is a status symbol, and these two houses shelter the head honchos of this road.
The residents of this property obviously caught middle ages fever, and decided to make their house look like a castle. They even made a massive arch for the tiny gate to their back garden, and made what looks like the beginnings of a portcullis over the front door. The fence also seems to have been destroyed - perhaps in jousting practices. They seem to be cheating slightly though, because see signs of plumbing and heating that are obviously modern features!
This house is just a mecca for broken down cars. While we applaud the owners for having both a crazy old van (not a VW, we are reliably informed) and a Robin Reliant, the number of crazy cars is a bit much for the space. It's also a bit odd having a brand new wall around such a messy garden with such value-less cars. Perhaps the owners take cars, trash them, and then imprison them with that wall so they can't escape - the bastards! Anyone wanting to help can call 0800-FREECARS
Welcome to Barbieland. There is actually a whole close of these houses, and they're all identical. What's odd is that they have such neat lawns, and yet the green in the middle is so unkempt. Maybe the council will only mow grass in that area if it's demarkated with a regulation white fence? Or maybe the area is a pocket of Mormons? Who knows? We certainly don't want to...
Well, at least these houses seem relatively sane. That is until you realise that they're all one house, and so that isn't a fence marking the division of the houses - it's a completely redundant log! It seems to be in front of the electricity/gas meter, so perhaps they don't want the board to read it. Free power, mwahahahahaha!
More other-worldly gravel! Do these people all get it from NASA, or are there aliens in Bedford that we don't know about? That trellis could be a signalling device to attract gravel-bearing aliens! I'm taking this one to my councillor... Unless that is cat litter, in which case we've found Bedford's crazy-old-lady-with-lots-of-cats.
Redundant diagonal paths, or a well camouflaged second driveway? We're split over this one, but whichever way you go, the garden is still pretty ugly. The odd combination of concrete, gravel and raised flower beds raises its ugly head again, this time with the addition of a weed cornerpeice. It's just depressing thinking how much effort this garden must have taken to make.
This must be the world's tiniest garden, which is obviously not the fault of the house's residents. But could they not have spruced it up a bit with plant life? A few bushes might have been nice, and would provide a handy cushion for falling drunks. They could even follow the redundant-log people and hide the gas/electricity meter!